What NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman | 15 Things You Should Never Say
15 THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A PREGNANT WOMAN
Being pregnant comes with its own special form of anxiety, especially for first-time moms. Not only are we self-conscious, swollen, hungry, not hungry, tired, nauseous, and hormonal... but we are also scared to death about pushing a possible 10 pound baby out our vaginas.
So... when speaking to a pregnant woman, tread lightly.
Here is my PSA on things women really do not want to hear from anyone—ever—while pregnant.
1. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
Excuse me, but I don’t really care if it’s a boy or girl; I’m just grateful to be pregnant in the first place! My number one concern is keeping this baby healthy.
2. *After being told it's a boy/girl*
“Is that what you wanted?”
Does it really matter what I wanted? I have no control over the gender and I don’t see the point in discussing trivial fantasies.
3. “Boys are the worst!” - Mom of three boys
4. “Girls are expensive!” -Mom of three girls
5. Whether you say you’re having a boy or girl… they’ll say, “Just wait until their teenage years!”
Just so you know, it’s no secret that teenagers everywhere are brats.
6. “Eat more, you’re eating for two!”
Although people want to vicariously live through pregnant women when it comes to food, it’s actually not true that we should be eating twice the amount as usual... or that we should be eating a bunch of junk and goodies! Pregnant women are supposed to maintain a healthy diet.
Most women are too sick in the first trimester to even think about eating extra food! Unless you want to hold my hair back while I throw up in the toilet, please don’t make any suggestions to me on what to eat.
7. “Don’t gain too much weight, my sister gained like 75 pounds and never got her body back!”
Too fat, too skinny, it’s a lose-lose situation. The only people that should be worried about how much weight I’m gaining is me and my doctor.
8. “You must be ready to pop, are you sure they didn’t get the date wrong?”
If I say I'm only 7 months pregnant, I mean I am only 7 months pregnant.
9. “Are you having twins?”
*Eyes roll to the back of my head.*
10. “You look tired! Just wait until you have the kid.”
I am tired. I'm glad you noticed.
11. “Sleep now. After this, you’ll never sleep again.”
Thanks for the advice… except I can’t sleep now because I have a thirty pound basketball pushing on my bladder, remember?
12. “Did you have the baby yet?”
This is the text I received from all different people on a daily basis until my first baby was born. I ended up being two weeks late and it brought me to tears every time another person would ask me if I was in labor yet.
Please don’t do this. When the baby is born, you’ll know if I want you to.
13. “Were you guys trying?”
14. “Do you have a name?”
Yes, but I’m not telling you! You may wonder why, but it’s because EVERYONE has to put in their two cents. I learned the hard way to keep it to myself and just politely answer, “not sure yet.”
15. “You will miss being pregnant!”
Actually, I am miserable. Although there are sweet moments (such as feeling the baby kick for the first time), not all women enjoy being pregnant and it’s presumptuous to assume that all women do.
Avoid these talking points:
- The way I look
- What I am eating
- What’s in store for me regarding labor and/or parenthood
You've been warned. Mood swings are real...
YOUR experiences don’t predict others’ experiences, so unless I ask, keep your horror stories to yourself. If you have to comment on my appearance, tell me I am glowing and that I am beautiful. (Even compliments get tricky in the last trimester though.)
Definitely don’t mom-shame me before I even have a chance to be a mom… I will figure it out when the time comes!
DO tell me that this journey is well worth it and that it’s the best decision I've ever made.
Here are ways you can actually RELAX during pregnancy.
- Samantha Colandrea