What A Pregnant Woman Needs From Her Husband, 6 Things I Wish He Knew
So let me begin by saying, every pregnancy is different! My circumstances maynot be the same as yours and how I feel has a lot to do with my personality as well.
I'm a bring-in-all-the-grocery-bags-in-one-shot type of woman and do not like asking for help. So needless to say, it was challenging for me to admit "defeat" while pregnant.
The experiences I am about to discuss pertain to my very first pregnancy. I recognize that things become even more complicated when you are pregnant and already have kids.
I have a very supportive husband, but in retrospect, I wish I would have clued him in on some details about what it was really like to be pregnant...
1. Welcome my new eating habits.
I feel insane... one minute I want a cheeseburger, the next I can't stand the thought of meat. The food aversions and cravings are real and out of my control. It will help to know that your partner can embrace whatever you're in the mood for that day/night.
Tell your partner this pro tip: the question, "Want to go out to eat?" is MUSIC TO THE EARS.
My husband and I are typically pretty frugal, meaning we make a lot of our meals at home. While pregnant though, the only thing more detestable to me than broccoli was the thought of cooking my own meal. I know it's not financially smart to always go out to eat, so I wouldn't ask first. But when my husband suggested the idea, it always left me feeling giddy and guilt-free.
2. I need help with little things.
So my husband obviously knew not to ask me to carry around a dining room table or anything like that, but there were still simple chores that I had to stop. It can be hard to admit that ordinary tasks are now a no-no, but you have to do what's safest for you and baby.
I couldn't lug laundry up and down the stairs. I couldn't take the garbage out. I needed help bringing in the groceries. I couldn't reach high places—though I never really could—but, I couldn't climb on the furniture to get things from those high places! And although, I could take the dogs out still, I swear I love my husband more because he wouldn't make me do it.
Don't be too proud to ask. Tell your partner you need help completing tasks that might've normally been your sole responsibility. And don't feel guilty either... you are growing a human being inside you, you are already a superhero.
3. I'm crazy sensitive.
One moment I'm crying, the next I'm yelling... please don't take it personal!
One day, I made myself a nice egg and toast breakfast. As I'm putting away the ingredients, I noticed there was mold on the butter. Of course I already buttered my toast and smushed together a nice egg and toast sandwich. I had to trash it all, and then... came the tears. I was so hungry.
I also had an inexplicable rage inside me. During my pregnancy, I developed a fun new habit of backseat driving and getting mad at my husband for seemingly no reason. Maybe it was the mama bear coming out in me and so I was extra cautious in the car, but I will be the first to admit I had a temper that could explode at any moment. Click here for the things that every pregnant woman is sick of hearing.
Tell your partner this: Let me cry. Let me rage. Try not to get combative and remember, it is just the hormones.
4. Sleeping is hard.
Speaking of not taking things personal, snuggling was no longer conducive to a comfortable sleeping environment for me once I hit the third trimester, so I had to tell my husband to politely "back off." I felt extremely weighed down as it was, so even an arm on my back felt like a ton of bricks. No touching is best, as harsh as it may sound. My due date was during the summer, so the heat of a third person (plus two dogs in the bed) was just not an option.
Forewarn your partner ahead of time that there may be a lot of tossing and turning throughout the night. It is really hard to get comfortable! You can also do what I did and invest in a pregnancy pillow which helps a lot.
5. I'm tired.
I am tired. I am not lazy.
You are tired. You are not lazy. Your body is going through many changes that leave you feeling fatigued or depleted. Your hormone levels literally cause a decrease in energy, plus you've cut caffeine from your diet. It's no secret that lack of sleep can lead to higher stress levels and stress is not good for you or your baby. You need to sleep. You need to rest. Do not be ashamed of how much rest you need.
You get comfortable mama and soak it all in.
6. I'm scared.
Even if you have wanted to be a mother your whole life, when the plan actually comes to fruition, it can be nerve-racking. Your partner might not realize you are having these fears, but it really is best to get them out in the open. Are you afraid of what's to come? Childbirth? Being a good mom? Knowing what to do and when to do it? I was! What helped me was when when my husband would talk about the future.
He would tell me about all the future Disney trips we would take, the walks in the park, the baseball games, and our next house with the pool. You're in this thing together and so why not talk like it?
Joining the elite club of parenthood is intimidating, but there are all the wonderful, positive aspects to get excited for. Make sure your partner reminds you of that when you are feeling down!
So, there you have it.
Pregnancy is a tough but extraordinary time for all parties involved; however, you are the one carrying the baby, so speak up for what you need.
- Samantha Colandrea